Rainy Day Men #53 and 54

Or is it 55? I've lost count actually. So Grecian Formula guy was a fail. He doesn't dye his hair, but there are so many other things going on with him that I really wish that were his only issue. Unnatural follicle pigmentation I could have lived with, but not the myriad of high-maintenance events he demonstrated in the short 2 weeks of our courtship. A simple walk on the beach is not in his vocabulary, apparently, because he required 3 shirts, sunscreen underneath the layers, the ugliest hat I've ever seen, and long pants with shoes and socks for a 15-minute stroll on the boardwalk. Poor oral hygiene combined with a huge overbite would not be a dealbreaker in and of itself either, but combined with an overly healthy ego, a penchant for assigning me work detail (why don't you come over to my house and help me sort out all of the boxes in my garage?), and a tendency to dictate what I would be doing every time we might happen to get together (you can bring over some papers to grade while I am writing my book)? Uh, no thanks to any of the above. Oh yes, there is also the tedious historical novel he's been working on for 15 years or more, which is his default topic of conversation and I suspect the reason his wife left him 5 years ago. Even so, I might have at least enjoyed our one and only date at my favorite sushi place, if he had not gotten there a half hour early and ordered for me, without waiting to see if I even wanted the flaming roll which was waiting on our table when I walked in. He felt perfectly justified using that antiquated and horrendously sexist practice, because it was imperative to him that the menus be cleared away to make room for the 4-inch binder full of clippings and pictures (from his book, of course) which he had brought along for my "entertainment." Such a lot of plans he had for our future, and not a one was appealing to me in the least. It's amazing that I even agreed to go on a date with him, but he was so friendly on the phone that I just had to see him in person.
C'est la vie and so it goes. Moving on to the next guy, who seems a little more normal. For now I'll call him Regular Guy, and we are meeting up this weekend after a 2-month exchange of emails and phone calls.