Love Is All Around You...

I've been taking advantage of my time off this summer by traveling a lot. With the cheap airfares available and lots of relatives who miss me, I've been all over the Western states and Hawaii in the past few months. It's been a great time, and I'm back home for a while before making one or two more expeditions.

Taking a break from dating was easy while on the road. There were so many fun activities planned around my visits that I didn't even miss the coffee dates and walks on the beach that I had been going on with a vengeance all year. But now that I'm home and back in my routine, I find that my social life has slowed down a lot. Not only do I not have any dates scheduled, but there are no men who are romantically interested in me nearby (a few long-distance guys are writing, but I'm not encouraging them much). I find that I really don't mind so much not having to keep up with all of the extra personal grooming I had to do while dating 2 to 3 times a week. In fact it's really nice to be able to take a break from shaving legs and the like for a little while. But even with my new hobbies I find it's still very quiet around my house.

While on vacation, I noticed that everywhere I went, love was in the air. My niece in Hawaii had just married a great young man. They are best friends and very much in love. My cousin, who has been married for 15 years to a local man she met the week she moved there, is still as happily in love with him as she was on the day they wed. Both of my children have recently met amazing young partners and after spending a week getting to know them, I heartily approve of their choices. Even Mimi seems to be head over heels in love with her new man, and I couldn't be happier for her.

So, I'm wondering, when is it going to be my turn to find the perfect mate? I'm aware that I have to be ready in all respects for him to appear in my life, and that I obviously have not been in the right place for love - until now. The day that I returned home from vacation I saw this post from Dad's House. I'm no stranger to the magic of metaphysics, and I've made wish lists and bulletin boards before (things and events even materialized in my life from these posters with surprising regularity), but upon reading Dad's reminder, I realized that until recently I hadn't thought very specifically about the qualities of the man whom I want to attract into this stage of my life. I've read books and listened to meditation CDs on "how to attract love into your life", but I didn't write down or visualize the details of what my perfect partner would look like and act like. The good news is that I now have a whole bank of recent experiences with men, good and bad, and they have been extremely helpful in refining my idea of which qualities I would like to have (and not have) in a partner. For example, he will be tall like G, read books like J, and have a sense of humor like B, and be as smart as M, but not as angry as P, etc. It's been surprisingly interesting and educational, going back through my older posts, revisiting and writing down the characteristics of the next man I want to date.

I realize that I will have to do some footwork while waiting for the magic to happen, so I am concentrating on having at least one good interaction with a man in real life per day. Even if it is just flirting with the 70-something man who took my ticket at the movies yesterday (he joked that there was a problem because the movie I was seeing was rated R, and I looked too young to be allowed entrance) - he still counts. I'm finding that interacting with men in real life can be as easy as asking single men in the supermarket if a food item in their cart might go well with this wine or that one, or striking up a conversation with the man in line next to me at the races. It's not as hard as meeting an online stranger for coffee as it turns out, and the challenge can be kind of fun, especially when the choices are limited. Also, I'll know before I speak to him if he is someone whom I'd like to get to know better, and I can tell right away from his reaction and body language if he likes me as well. I have made this my daily challenge, and each time I have an encounter with a real live guy, I consciously give myself a virtual pat on the back for getting that much closer to my ideal mate. The key for me is to radiate happiness and confidence while I'm out and about, and to feel that my life is good just as it is, while opening my heart to great things happening to me. I'll give this technique a shot for the rest of the summer and let you know what happens.