New Rules Part II and Back to the Drawing Board

Rule #3: He must meet your needs or you must leave him.
In the world of dating, whether you met him online or not, remember to set your standards high and constantly reassess the man and how he's treating you. Remember - he is out to impress you at first, and his behavior will only get worse from here, not better. So if his communication skills are poor, for example, and he promises to call but goes days or (god forbid) weeks without calling you, insist upon a change in this behavior immediately or tell him goodbye. Do not settle for less than you want in any area, because you will never be able to get anything more than he's willingly giving you now.

Rule #4: Just walk away if something doesn't seem right.
The man may be perfect in every regard until you spend the night at his house and hear his phone ringing off the hook into the wee hours of the morning. A stalking ex-girlfriend? Bill collectors? Don't make the mistake of convincing yourself that since everything else about him is so good, you can just ignore this one teensy weensy red flag. Make sure that you are comfortable with every single aspect of him and his living situation because you won't be able to change him later. Many women have tried this over and over throughout history to no avail.

Rule #5: Don't believe it until you see it.
If he says he will cancel his online dating subscription because he finally met a woman who is perfect for him, make sure you go online and search for his profile to see if this is true. There is simply NO good reason for a man to have a profile that is still active when he is exclusively dating you. This is easy enough to check, even when you have done what you said you'd do and canceled your subscription. Do an anonymous search for his username to see any activity and how recent it was.

Since I always follow my own good advice (LOL), and for all of the above reasons, I am no longer dating Writer. I don't consider him a bad experience, just an educational one that only took me 2 months to absorb. I also got some pretty awesome sex out of the deal, and I realized more completely what I will and will not tolerate while in a relationship. Even though he was unable to make enough time for me in his busy life, he was definitely a major step up from all of the men I've dated before. Bottom line: I won't ever again be "dating" someone who has no time to talk to me on the phone, much less take me out on dates. While I will miss him, it will feel good to be out in the world again, doing things and talking to people instead of waiting for him to finish writing his book.

So, tomorrow begins my foray back into the dating game. I am meeting Romeo #27 for brunch at the beach. Wish me luck.

P.S.

I almost forgot the most important rule of all...

Rule #6: Do NOT Tell Him You Are Writing A Blog About Your Dating Life!

Seriously. I have never had a good experience doing this with any man in my life. Either he never reads it and you feel hurt, as if he doesn't think you have anything interesting to say - or - it colors your writing and prevents you from being honest about him, because you know he's studying it with a fine tooth comb. Or worse, you begin to use it as a way to drop hints to try and manipulate him. Finally, the worst case of all: you break up with him but he lurks there, stalking you day after day, and maybe he is even psycho/stupid enough to try to use it against you in a court of law. Sounds weird I know, but all of these things have happened to me. Maybe it will be different with you, but why take the chance? These days, the only way I would ever tell a man I'm dating about my blog is if he married me. Then, on my wedding day I would start a whole new married person's blog and he could read that to his heart's content.