Many Reasons To Celebrate, and a Whole New World of Dating Benchmarks

First of all, I must say that I am proud to be an American right now. And I haven't been able to say that in years (While in Paris earlier this year I actually told a few French people that I was Canadian rather than admit my real citizenship). Clearly 56% of Americans agree with me that it is time for a change and I am beyond thrilled that Obama is now the President-elect.

While everyone was out rejoicing over Obama's victory, Writer and I had additional, more private reasons to celebrate. A week ago we went to a public health clinic together to be tested for STDs and HIV, and now the results have come back negative, which is really happy news for many reasons. Sex without condoms is now safe between us (interestingly, according to some health professionals it is never really safe but we have decided that any remaining risk is no longer a factor for us)! Even though some experts recommend the use of condoms for up to a year after negative test results, Writer and I are extremely satisfied with our decision to forego any further barriers to skin-to-skin contact. Also, since the incubation period is 6 months for HIV testing, I am now free from worry that the NCM had passed these diseases to me before I broke up with him some 8 months ago.**

It's fascinating to me how the benchmarks in the dating world have changed in my lifetime. When I was in High School, we wore our boyfriend's class ring or letter jacket to show our commitment, and in my 20s, they bought us mood rings or macramed bracelets which we happily wore as signs of exclusivity. I was married from my mid-twenties to my late 40s, so I'm unaware if there were a few variations on the rings and other traditions. But now the world has evolved to a much more dangerous place, hence this new ritual of exchanging test results before exchanging bodily fluids.
Another milestone: canceling or suspending your online dating membership, thus removing yourself from the "available" category to show commitment. Who would ever have thought that these would be the things that would make me all starry-eyed and giddy in my 50s? Not I, for sure.

But it's not only about sex with us. The face time is special too. I treasure the moments we spend just sitting and talking, basking in the eye contact, pouring our hearts out and processing the heavy emotions of election week. It feels right when we're together like this. We cover many topics: books we are reading about the politics of change and economics, a movie that we watched together which moved us both, places we have been and places we want to visit together. Our children are very important to us, and we talk about them a lot. I recall that a therapist once told me to wait at least 6 months before introducing a man I was dating to my kids. We both feel that this is good advice, so Writer and I plan on waiting at least until after the holidays before we even think about meeting each others' families. I am happy about this because it gives us a chance to get to know each other even better before becoming part of a family dynamic.

Maybe it's the election results, or maybe it's the STD test results. Whatever, I'm in a very happy place now. I have a good feeling about everything that is happening. In fact, life is pretty wonderful.

** What a relief, and good riddance to bad garbage! I will not be referencing the NCM any further in this blog - I have finally stopped giving any thought to him or anything connected with him, because I have moved on to bigger and better things.